MESSAGE
| DATE | 2019-11-20 |
| FROM | Chris Knadle
|
| SUBJECT | Re: [Hangout - NYLXS] Complaint from NYLUG
|
Ruben Safir:
> what are you talking about Brian
>
> I haven't talking to ANYONE... at ALL
>
> I have never seen anything like this.
>
> On Tue, Nov 19, 2019 at 03:57:22PM -0500, Brian Gupta wrote:
>> Ruben,
>>
>> You violated NYLUG's anti-harassment policy [1]. Not only was your behavior
>> at our events unacceptable, you participated in online stalking and
>> harassment behavior of our members. You are not permitted to attend any
>> future NYLUG events and we ask that you cease contact with our members.
>>
>> Thank you,
>> Brian Gupta
>> on behalf of the NYLUG organizing team
>>
>> [1] -
>> https://www.meetup.com/nylug-meetings/pages/9791932/Anti-Harassment_Policy/
Brian:
I'd like you to imagine you received a message like the one you sent Ruben,
which gives blame but not explanation of the offending behavior. As best I can
tell, this seems to have gone immediately to banning from future events, and a
web link to some policy, without any discussion. If you were the recipient,
would you bother to read the policy? Since it's already resulted in a total
ban, there seems no incentive to do so.
That really doesn't work. There's a lot more effective ways of communicating
than this. A web link to a policy is vague because there's a long list of what
_might_ have been the problem. Some discussion is needed for the recipient to
be able to understand.
On a side note:
One of the most disappointing behaviors I see in people is _dismissiveness_,
where a judgment is made and stuck to, without much consideration for the
approach nor use of empathy. That kind of behavior is hurtful.
-- Chris
--
Chris Knadle
Chris.Knadle-at-coredump.us
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