MESSAGE
| DATE | 2005-03-23 |
| FROM | Ruben Safir
|
| SUBJECT | Subject: [hangout] [alt.sports.baseball.ny-mets] OT: Abbott and Costello, Meet the Cybermen
|
On Tue, 22 Mar 2005 22:11:59 -0500, Jim Burns wrote:
>
> This is going around the internet...
>
> So, in the spirit of Openin Day....
>
> Jim Burns
> ____
>
>
> If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
> 'Who's On First?' might have turned out something like this:
>
>
> COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
>
>
> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
>
> COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
> about buying a computer.
>
> ABBOTT: Mac?
>
> COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
>
> ABBOTT: Your computer?
>
> COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
>
> ABBOTT: Mac?
>
> COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
>
> ABBOTT: What about Windows?
>
> COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
>
> ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
>
> COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
>
> ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
>
> COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
>
> ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
>
> COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
> proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
>
> ABBOTT: Office.
>
> COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
>
> ABBOTT: I just did.
>
> COSTELLO: You just did what?
>
> ABBOTT: Recommend something.
>
> COSTELLO: You recommended something?
>
> ABBOTT: Yes.
>
> COSTELLO: For my office?
>
> ABBOTT: Yes.
>
> COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
>
> ABBOTT: Office.
>
> COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
>
> ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
>
> COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say 'm
> sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
>
> ABBOTT: Word.
>
> COSTELLO: What word?
>
> ABBOTT: Word in Office.
>
> COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
>
> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
>
> COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
> ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
>
> COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some
> straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
>
> ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
>
> COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
> your business. Just tell me what I need!
>
> ABBOTT: Real One.
>
> COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4.
> Can I watch them?
>
> ABBOTT: Of course.
>
> COSTELLO: Great! With what?
>
> ABBOTT: Real One.
>
> COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
> do?
>
> ABBOTT: You click the blue '1'.
>
> COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
>
> ABBOTT: The blue '1'.
>
> COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue 'w'?
>
> ABBOTT: The blue '1' is Real One and the blue 'W' is Word.
>
> COSTELLO: What word?
>
> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
>
> COSTELLO: But there are three words in 'office for windows'!
>
> ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
>
> COSTELLO: It is?
>
> ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
> pretty
> much wiped out all the other Words out there.
>
> COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
>
> ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part
> of
> Office.
>
> COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
> bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
>
> ABBOTT: Money.
>
> COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
>
> ABBOTT: Money.
>
> COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
> ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
> COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
>
> ABBOTT: Money.
>
> COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
>
> ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
>
> COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
>
> ABBOTT: One copy.
>
> COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
>
> ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
>
> COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
>
> ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
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