MESSAGE
| DATE | 2004-11-25 |
| FROM | Billy
|
| SUBJECT | Re: [hangout] NYLXS Open House Flyers
|
Inker, Evan wrote:
> After much reflection and help from our President, Big Mike, Here are the
> possible new
> posters/flyers for NYLXS Open House and FSI Classes.
>
> A New tag Line we can use on all our email correspondence as well as flyers,
> posters, etc could be:
>
> "Software, like Sex, is best when it's Free"
Terrible! It's a bit of a cute dirty joke, but not
for posting in public.
About the FSI flyer....
There are a lot of problems with it, even without the sex talk.
What's with the low-res graphics for the
"About Us" and "Course Offerings" bars?
The "About Us" paragraph: cut the
word "now", end that sentence with a bang (!).
"Affordable Free Software Training" sounds
like an oxymoron. Juggle the sentence
to avoid the juxtaposition. Don't use
"cradle-to-grave", it's depressing and inaccurate.
The word "complete" or "comprehensive" would do
the job without darkening my day.
"It's prime time", not "its prime time".
put a http:// in front of the URL.
Bold the titles of the classes or make them larger.
They are the most important thing on the flyer,
and I can barely read them from 5 feet away.
Make the price big, and tell me how much it is
for 1 class, not 2. Make it explicit that this is
for the entire run of the course, not 1 session.
State explicitly how many sessions are in each course,
don't make me get out a calendar to figure it out.
Both classes are at the same address, and both
are limited to 20, mention the address only once.
Mention the limitation somewhere other than as the
opening sentence of the course description. You
need the opening sentence to grab attention, not
bore people with fire marshal occupancy codes.
You should mention that the introduction to programming
with Perl course is beginner-friendly, not just
beginner-to-Perl friendly.
Cut the paragraph about "saving the masses" and
"technology ignorant government". Especially lose
the "... and do not profit off of the money".
It's incorrect usage. Really, just get rid of the whole
paragraph, as it's redundant with the top paragraph anyway.
You shouldn't claim that the course "will take you through
Perl's underlying structure", because it will almost certainly
not. I'm a programmer, and _I_ don't know what that means, unless
it refers to Perlguts, which would be a pretty advanced CS class.
Final suggestion, I promise...
Print little vertical fringes along the bottom (or the side)
with the URL or tel#, so that people can tear one off to
take with them. Make them small so there can be lots of them.
____________________________
NYLXS: New Yorker Free Software Users Scene
Fair Use -
because it's either fair use or useless....
NYLXS is a trademark of NYLXS, Inc
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