MESSAGE
| DATE | 2003-04-09 |
| FROM | From: "Inker, Evan"
|
| SUBJECT | Subject: [hangout] Humorous but very Relevant Truths...
|
I received this one from a colleague and wanted to share it....
I see a lot of people on the television yelling for peace, but I have not
heard of one plan for peace. "Books, not Bombs" won't work. The head mullahs
won't let anyone read them. If they do, they poke their eyes out.
Here's the plan:
1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their
affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini,Tojo, Marshal Petain and
the rest of them good old boys. We will never "interfere" again.
2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with
Germany, France, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there.
We would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking through holes in
the fence.
3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave.
We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be
gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are.
France would welcome them.
4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days in
America unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would
be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself, don't hide
here Asylum would not ever be available to anyone. We don't need any more
cab drivers.
5) No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't
attend classes, they get a "F" and it's back home, baby.
6) The US will make a strong effort to become self sufficient energy
wise.&nb! sp; This will include developing non polluting sources of energy
but will require a temporary drilling for oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The
caribou will have to cope for a while.
7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for
their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else.
8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will
not "interfere". They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement
or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them is stolen or given
to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if any, anyway.
9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don't need the spies
and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless
shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can
call us "Ugly Americans" any longer
Regards,
Evan M. Inker (New York) x. 4615
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